Hopeless romance can destroy people who are expecting great things to take place in their life. I am one of those people. I sit here right now wondering when I decided to insouciantly offer a hidden side of myself to him. It troubles me that I fell as hard as I did because it leaves me blaming my desperate need to feel that someone other than myself is real.
…From the start of our shared philosophies, adventures and intimacies I began to release my heart back out for only him to influence. From nowhere he happened to be the one to cruz down my secret path. But nothing my soul fancies comes easy for me and from his predicament came my emotional distress. I trust fate wrapped me up in his pureness of spirit...warm, intense, jovial and strong. Our souls made a brief and unique connection, one we both have never experienced. After a long private journey I was ready for destiny. I believed in the magic we created and impulsively I breathed him into my soul. But alas, the stinging wind of our reality has been blowing around me…
I have allowed my tangled thoughts of him to bare the weight of my past and my future causing me to involuntarily suffer.
So, self-evaluation and wisdom leaves me with the choice to no longer torture myself with wonder. Today I let a romantic connection go. I am blessed with the radiant insight that I desired something enough to free my inhibitions and fight for the passion it fueled inside me. He made my soul smile. From this point I will practice not mourning but celebrating my ability to embody and express romance, passion and adventure even when it is not reciprocated. There is a whole world waiting to share these virtues with me.
WORLDLY WISHES IN 2005 … it is time to find and live my future!
1 comment:
I am not blowing any kisses up your skirt...THIS IS VERY SOLID WRITING. This post ressonates with the same intelectual tingling that I experienced when reading a passage from that book you showed me from the Czech writer. You really are capturing here feelings and thoughts that are universal in their rawness, while profoundly specific in their female perspective.
YOU ARE A WRITER.
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